Fluttershy - Working In Background

WANTED: BIKER GIRL GANG MEMBERS.

When I moved to New York with nothing but a suitcase, a dream, and a hose, I immediately realized that if I wanted to achieve anything approximating greatness, I needed to join the Junior League or start a fashion blog. The latter seemed more prudent, and less in keeping with the expectations of my family, so that’s what I went with. 

Now that I’ve lived here for a full year and have aged like a fine wine to twenty-freaking-four-years-young, I realize something far more important: I need to start a Biker Girl Gang.*

*Without bikes.

I need to start a Biker Girl Gang in which all members wear their hair in swoopy pompadours. All members will have seen every episode of Jem and the Holograms but also every episode of Jiz and the Mammograms.

And I need us all to wear this:

When I put this outfit on, all my wants and desires crystallized. Because in this Biker Girl Gang, we are going to wear backless Risto vests with white button downs that have lime green fringe haunting the back like some freakish baroque fantasia and flimsy lace skirts from The Most Pixie of Markets. Accessorizing with Lizzie Fortunato bags and Jenni Kayne flats will be de rigueur. 

Over our outfits, all of us in the Biker Girl Gang will need to wear BADASS matching jackets like this Anna Sui one that has hit me like a truly great woman might’ve hit Hemingway: it makes me want to write better and drink less gin and generallybe a better person because it is so beautiful and amazing and when I see it I blush and laugh awkwardly and don’t know what to say despite my tendency to talkitytalktalk.

Then we are going to stand around like this and say things like, “Do you think the moon landing was real?” And then we are going to watch documentaries about whether or not the moon landing was real, and then afterwards we’ll stop at the Monkey Bar for a drink and then we’ll all go on a field trip to the Frick and look at that Ingres painting and put our finger on our chins and be like “UUUUNNNNGGGHRUHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” One of our members will have gone to the New School and she’ll say something terribly unclever about the ethereal nature of Countesse d’Haussonville’s limbs and the one who went to Barnard will turn to the one who went to Princeton and whisper, “Did she even study Mannerism?” And then we’ll nickname the New Schooler The Mannerism Repeller. (I wonder if she could get that sewn on the back of her Anna Sui jacket?)

But who will be in my Biker Girl Gang? See that sad face? It’s me, on the street, in Brooklyn, wondering if I’ll ever get my Biker Girl Gang. Please submit all inquiries re: participation in Biker Girl Gang to pizzarulezzz@gmail.com or via Twitter at @rsevillet. In the mean time, I’ll be watching this, listening to this, and, of course, dreaming about this

Risto vest from Assembly / pushBUTTON shirt and black skirt from Pixie Market / Selima Optique glasses / Lizzie Fortunato bag / Jenni Kayne flats from Fivestory NY 

When a Woman Loves a Hat

This past weekend, Dr. Boyfriend and I decided to escape from our hood, which was invaded by a bunch of crass wanna-biebers who ate their way through our park after waiting in a six hour line for a burger from the burger place that’s across the street from their apartment in the quaint and underrated West Village.

ANYWAYS WE WENT TO MANHATTAN is what I’m getting at, and I went to CREATURES OF COMFORT, which is a store for people who see something like this and think “fashion!” 

Well, I saw a hat and I thought “fashion!”

And when a woman loves a hat, she can’t keep her mind on nothing else

IT’S LIKE A MELTING BOATER. AND HERE ARE A BUNCH OF PHOTOS OF ME WEARING IT.

From the top, ladies and gentleman:

Don’t I look like Farmer Pizza? 

Oh yeah, and here it is with me, full frontal (ew—facially) underneath it.

Hat by Federica Moretti from Creatures of Comfort. Vintage plaid shirt (similar). Risto backless vest from Assembly New York. Skirt from Pixie Market. Shoes by Marc by Marc Jacobs (similar). Lipstick by Illamasqua in Corrupt. Hair by a delusional space alien who stuck her finger in an electrical socket and tried to fix the damage with mousse. 

So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a hat? 

John Cage and Jackets (TM).

When I’m not in working in my job as a freelance banker, I’m a musicianist. This week I’ve been working on some cool MASH-UPS to share: all classic song-sexin’ between my favorite pop hits and John Cage’s 4’33”. Like here’s 4’33” x Usher’s “DJ’s Got Us Fallin’ In Love.” And here’s Kanye and Jay-Z featuring Beyonce x 4’33”. And this is Enemies x 4’33”! And here’s The War On Drugs x 4’33”!

It feels so good to be talented.

In other news, today after making my rimmity-remixes, I put on some clothes. 

I looked so good in my cute little outfit, that I let the Ole Roommate take some photos for old time’s sake. She was all begging for it, and I was like, “OK, whatever, just do it fast, because I have a receipt signing at 3 PM to get to.”

Anyways, here are some more photos of me.

Sunglasses by Thierry Lasry. Necklace is my mommy’s, much like my monthly allowance. Scarf a gift from My Roommate’s Fashion Public Relations Agency She Just Started When I Typed This. Pants by Phil-Dog Lim. Shirt from downtown New York’s hippest undiscovered boutique!!!

But you’re all, “Wait, Pizza-Dog” —because that’s what you call me when we’re lying on that chaise lounge together— “what’s the story with your jackets?” 

Well:

Backless Risto vest from Assembly New York (go go go!) over a J.Crew tweed-body jacket with trench sleeves (from last year—no ya nevah gonna git it).

These jackets make me feel younger than I’ve ever felt before! I feel like a new woman, and you bet my husband has noticed!

Disclaimer: The above is a statement reflecting my status as the official spokesperson of jackets. Jacket results not typical. 

And shoes, no duh, by Kathryn Amberleigh

Now go listen to my mash-up of 4’3” and Enrique’s “I Like It!”