Mom Fashion: This Baby’s On Board.

People often ask me, “Hey!” In fact, if I had a sled dog for every time that happened, I’d have something to do with that Siberian sleigh I bought at the Brooklyn Flies Market last summer. 

The point is: Moms. Once you start thinking about moms, you can’t not think about moms. They’re so cool! Moms are everywhere, unlike sled dogs, unless you are the guy in that Suzuki commercial. For example: look out your window right now! That woman that walked by? She’s probably a mom!

I love moms even more than I love chunky salsa a lot. But when I consider the wide range of moms on the mom scene today, one mom in particular stands out: mine. Especially because she recently handed down to me a little outfit I like to call, “My mom’s outfit.”

That’s right, folks. My mom wore this ensemble, head to toe, on the regular. I’m wearing a piece of history—nay: momstory. If your eyes are failing you: there are some Ferragamo flats (on feet not hands), and that’s a turquoise jacket with gold polka-dots, a tassel zipper pull, and shoulder pads that say “Hello, idiots.” 

Also? That turquoise pleated skirt with gold polka-dots? It has buttons. They are stars. Which is so nice! Because my mom is always telling me, “Reach for the stars! Because even if you happen to miss you will land among that honey bee colony I’m thinking of starting!”

While I was shooting this high concept fashion editorial, a gentleman walked by and said, “Hey! [+1 sled dog] Nice legs!”

"Thanks," I responded. "They’re my mom’s."

This outfit’s only anachronism is this bag—but whaddya know! That too is my mom’s! I totally gave it to her on May 8, 2011, which is Honor Your Favorite Executive Day. Turns out, she was my favorite executive day! It’s by Lizzie Fortunato and it makes me feel like a more honest, forthright person!

Close up of my webbed, Salvatore Ferragamo-branded feet. The things that plastic surgery and brand sponsorships of blogs can do these days.

In conclusion, the mom stats on my mom suggest she’s king of the hill, top of the list, cream of the crop. Actually, sorry, that’s how Frank Sinatra felt in New York. Regardless, her momocity is OuT of this WORLD.

As this is my mom’s idea of an outfit, not mine, you probably can’t get it anywhere. You can probably get the shoes though. So, chin-up!

The real question: where the hex do you wear something like this? I do not know and I’ve been married to known the woman for 24 years. If you have any ideas or just wanna say hey, please contact me with twitter or send me an email (guyspizzasrslypizza@gmail.com). 

Make sure to say “hey” though. I’m in the market for a talking dog