Before I say anything, I need to give you a little warning, which is,
Now listen: getting dressed in the morning is a big production for me. After I wash my hair in champagne and get my daily tattoo, I have to bring together all my unique influences—paper napkins, cats, the color black, the note F#—to create a cohesive outfit that perfectly communicates who I am. Just so, you know, people don’t have to ask. Because that’s so awkward.
Whatever, anyways, here’s an outfit.
GHahhahAhhahhhhhhh this skirt is so freaking cool. It’s super long and neon green plaid and taffeta and I mean, yeah, great job not having it, everyone except me. PLUS it looks sick with those little shoe dudes peeking out there. Skirt from M. Waspus McLacrosse IV Outfitters. Bag by Three-Day-Old Tuna Casserole x H&M Limited Edition Flag Day Designer Collaboration. Nahht. It’s Elaine Turner. I’m looking off into the distance thinking, “You guys, Akon is such a good singer.”
It’s for when I play baseball. Mine’s N/A, as in No you cAn’t buy it, but this one is cool and similar and this one is also cool if you have rollerblades made out of money. Vintage bracelet from that crazy coot of a great aunt I have, who gave me two rad purses. Blue ring by H&M x Courtney Cox: “Friends” are Jewels collection. Other ring by David Yurmz.
Anyways, email me now to get on the waiting list to request an invitation for the beta version of having coffee with me: email@example.com
Til then, stay real.