You know what it’s like right now in the trendy, very hip, edgy and interesting Lower East Side? It’s hotter than Satan’s sauna. And it’s really hard to get dressed for that kind of experience.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Girl, you have everything! How can something be hard for you? Except maybe math?” But let me assure you: life is hard sometimes for even the coolest, most popular girls. The solution to this heat wave: make like Uncle Joey and cut it out. See, strategically placed cut-outs in a garment keep me cool and cool. (See what I did there? Wasn’t it…cool?)
1. Kasual Kutz
Here I am in a look ripped straight from the Greatest Show of All Time, with the sass to match. Shoes by Missoni. Dress from Jared Leto Tween Line. I tied it in a knot so people would stop offering their seat on the subway to “the nice young pregnant lady.” Not pictured: the Bump-It in my combover.
And lookie what we have here! A monstrous cut-out to match my monstrous ‘tude! Bra thing is actually a bathing suit by the Hillary Duff Plus-Sized Real Women Wear Real Clothing & Eat String Cheese Line.
And of course, no ’90s trib outfit is complete without these suckers: Hot Pink New Kids on the Block earrings.
2. Snazzy Snipz
How happy do I look in this alien chic dress by good ole Marcy Marc and his Funky Bunch? Shoes by Chloe from my favorite place in the freakin’ world. I don’t remember where I got that necklace. Why the fuck do you care?
But see, from the back, this ain’t no ordinary stupid dress:
It’s a stupid dress with a bear-midriff. Headband from Taco Bell x Bendel’s collaboration line.
3. Slashin’ Fashin
And last but also least, here’s some more photos of myself.
Ring by—hah—what? No! That’s not like 10 bottles of liquor you see there to my left! Though you’re right—that’s definitely a cheese grater above there. But yeah! I swear, we just sip on Mr. Pibb in this apartment!
Um so like what does everyone think about Google+?